I think i peed on brittanys purse
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
