I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize