i think my mom watched the whole time
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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