just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
