it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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