i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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