Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
