You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
