mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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