Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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