Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
