I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
