she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize