Kiss
Puke
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
