no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
