just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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