Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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