I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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