you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
