My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
