Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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