I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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