MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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