I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
