you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Of course I have a pirate flag
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
