she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
