If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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