if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
