that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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