Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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