You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
