Having a random hookup so left but love u
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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