It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize