literally had 100 drinks last night.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
