So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
