super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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