My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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