I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
how does that bad decision feel?
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