You were right. It hurts to walk today.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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