Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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