i barfeds in our rink
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
try to milk me bitch
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
