I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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