break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
