i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
organizing the empties. That sober.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
