im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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