that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
