Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
