Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
