4 words: hood of his car
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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