Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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