we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
