you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
