And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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