so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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