I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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