I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
